People like us.

This weekend we had a play date at a family's house who's sweet boy is also dealing with food allergies. It was kind of a treat not having to worry about Finley touching anything. The family was great. We share similar interests and of course, the struggle. Finley and their little boy played great together. I love our friends and I love our play dates, but it's just honestly so refreshing to meet people who just "get it."

I am learning how much everything revolves around food. Everything. It's sad not being able to participate in lunch dates all the time. Also, try explaining to a 2-year-old why they can't have that donut that they want right now. I miss the reason being simply because you don't need a damn donut! Now it's because that donut could close your airway. It's weird and unfair to have to see food that way. It's a loaded gun behind a plastic case pointed at my kid. A gun that she desperately wants to put in her mouth. YEAH, it's terrifying. I know when she is older she will understand better, but kids are curious and rebellious and they grow - up and are no longer in your control. Being a mom is amazing and horrifying. Just keepin' it real.

I didn't even realize after my previous post that I had NEVER even posted on Quinn's arrival. Mom fail. Sorry, Quinny. She was born on October 21st. I was 38 weeks and labor came on its own, unlike Finley. Besides the epidural making my left side numb for almost 10 hours after she arrived, the labor was similar to Finley's. it was pretty smooth. The cord was around her neck, but she was all good. I did discover that I should have been a high risk pregnancy the whole time. The cord was not attached in the right place (to the placenta) and could have detached at anytime. It didn't, and I'm kind of glad I didn't know that until it didn't matter anymore.

Quinn was 7 lbs 7 oz and 20 and 1/2 in. long. A little blondie. She sleeps great. We had a little hiccup. She is sensative (hopefully won't be a future issue) to dairy, it seems. She is on the most expensive formula on the planet, but I'll just throw it on her tab. Her cuteness and happy demeanor make up for that.

My girls smile and laugh. Finley dances and plays and is so polite and full of life. We are blessed beyond measure, and to anyone who excludes us because of this damn allergy, that's okay. We have each other!

Life happens.

So, I have been quite neglectful of this blog. I also haven't taken Quinn's monthly (3 month) pictures and we are fast - approaching 4 months. I swore I wouldn't do that, but I did. Life happens. Finley and Quinn are happy kids, so I am doing something right! Finley is a wonderful big sister. She loves to make Quinn smile, and she is always asking her to dance. "Dance a me, baby Kin!"

I have some mommy guilt regarding the first two months Quinn was with us. When she was one week old we confirmed that Finley has a peanut allergy. I was so stuck in my anxiety and worry that I didn't enjoy her like I should have. Even at that first appointment I had no clue how much of a life change that would be. Within two months we had already switched allergists (thank God for Dr. Sakina Bajowala). I am not going to go into details of numbers and tests and all that, but I have learned I am no longer just Finley's mother, I am her advocate. This is scary for me. I am not good with the reception of the information I try to spread I sometimes get. People are SO uneducated about food allergies. It freaks me out when I get a negative response or people just don't buy it. So, here is a list that I think is important for all people, because allergies are EVERY WHERE. This list is based on peanut (and nut) allergies, but can apply to ANY kind of allergy.

1) myth: if you don't eat it, you'll be fine. Although we are fairly certain Finley is not contact or airborne reactive, this is a reality many with food allergies face. This is why people label me and others neurotic. I'm just doing my job to protect my child. Do I really want to find out if she is? No.

2) hand sanitizer does NOT get rid of the proteins. That is what she is allergic to, peanut protein. Teeny, tiny, invisible, and deadly. Baby wipes work, it's the wiping that gets rid of it. You must wash your hands with soap and water to eliminate the protein. The protein also lingers in your mouth for up to 8 hours. A kiss on the cheek can and does send some kids to the ER.

3) labeling laws suck in the US. Not only did we decide coconut is a nut (it is a common allergen, but not a nut - and companies that are nut - free, but have coconut, can't label themselves as nut-free). May contain/shared lines and facilities labels are voluntary, and have no solid definition of what they even mean. I have to call companies constantly, because their processes can always change. They aren't always helpful.

4) Yes, we can't even eat bread if the facility produces anything with nuts. Even with the cleaning laws, it can sometimes not be effective, and if it's not, they don't have to label it for you. Proteins linger.

5) I miss restaurants. There are a few that are great. We do get take-out from Chipotle sometimes. There have been an insane amount of recalls since we started on this road. This includes cumin and paprika. So, restaurants have been a big NO. Soon we will venture to red robin. I'm sure I will have 12 panic attacks.

6) Kids with food allergies are considered disabled. They are even protected in the Americans with disabilities act and can have a 504 plan in school. Yes, that's why you often have to keep your peanut butter at home. Sorry, not sorry. Obviously the world will not always cater to people with food allergies, but elementary school should be different. Everyone has a right to a free public education that involves inclusion and safety. Many people want to bug their eyes out when they hear food allergy = disability. Think about it. Finley is NOT eligible to join the military. She cannot work in a restaurant, or even a store. Let me ring up that reeces for you, Ma'am. She will have many limitations so long as she has this allergy.

7) There are advances in treatment, but not everyone is eligible, so this will always be an issue. I can tell you that I will never take anything with nuts or peanuts anywhere out of my home if we are lucky to outgrow or complete OIT, or get the peanut patch treatment in the future. Especially peanut butter. It stays around, especially if it's stuck on tiny hands.

8) RIP, trick-or-treating. Read the labels on those mini candies. This sucks. If you are so inclined, google the teal pumpkin project.

8) This can potentially rob me of my daughter, so you bet your ass I will stand my ground and not let anyone cause me to falter while I advocate and educate. Even if you are annoyed.

The statistics are staggering, and food allergies can appear in anyone at any age, no matter how much you have eaten something. They do not discriminate. If you are lucky enough to have no personal experience in you or loved ones, count your blessings. Also, they probably eventually will. So, be kind... to everyone.